EIGHT MONTHS OLD!

WOWZAS! Andy is turning 8 months old tomorrow, and I had a few minutes to blog so I wanted to do his monthly post today...

I realize I say this every month, but seriously, y'all!  How can he already be 8 months old?!?!?! Time is flying by and I am trying so hard to just hang on to each minute with these sweet, wild, and loving little boys.  There are so many days where I just feel like I can't kiss him enough.  He is unbelievably lovable. Look at this face! He smiles like this every time the camera comes out-- he cracks himself up!

Andy continues to be a big boy.  I am not sure of his measurements right now and we will find them out next month for his 9 month check up, but everyone that sees him assumes he is one.  A lady at the gym last week said he looked like he was big enough to walk right out of there-- crazy.  He isn't fat-- he's quite lean, actually, but he is loooooong.  And his hands are HUGE.  I think he is going to pass Cal height-wise before too long (crazy to think about!). 

how about those for some kissable cheeks??  He looks sooooo much like my brother did!

Revelation this week: I wrote before about him soaking through his night time diapers... I went back to read some of my posts about Cal at this age and I realized I wasn't nursing Cal as many times as I am Andy.  I have been nursing Andy when he wakes up in the morning, when he goes down for morning nap, when he woke up from morning nap, when he went down for afternoon nap, when he woke up from afternoon nap, and then before bed at night.... NO WONDER HE IS PEEING SO MUCH! He isn't eating on both sides for each of those feeds (ex. I would feed him on the right when he woke up in the morning and then on the left when he went down for nap...), but still... so I have been cutting out the waking up nursings and the past two nights he was NOT soaked when he woke up at 3am... he just woke up to visit with me.  Who is a sucker.  Who will be letting him cry it out once this illness leaves our house. 

no teeth yet, but everything goes straight to the mouth!

Eating: other than nursing, Andy is loving baby food.  He hasn't turned down anything yet.  I am feeding him lunch and dinner and he is eating roughly 2 jars of food at each (!!).  This seems like a ton to me, and I don't remember Cal eating that much, but maybe he was. 

Andy still does not have teeth, so he can't eat anything other than baby food, but I gave him some of those little yogurt puff things and he really likes those.  I also gave him a biter biscuit and he liked that, but couldn't figure out what to do when he broke the thing in his mouth. 
I am trying to find a sippy cup that he likes.  He is basically just gnawing on the mouth piece now, but I think he will get the hang of it eventually.  I have a feeling teeth are coming soon....

still a finger sucker! and how HUGE does he look in this picture?!?! SUCH a big boy!

In an effort to start weaning myself down from nursing, I have stopped pumping.  I don't want my body to think it needs to make more milk.  Because of this, I have stopped trying to give Andy a bottle-- we haven't tried in a while.  We did this same thing with Cal and he took cow's milk from the bottle fine-- he just wouldn't take MY milk from a bottle! At our next doctor's appointment I am going to ask about weaning him down and starting milk... I'd like to skip formula all together if I can.  Cal started cow's milk at 10 months... that's right around the corner!

Moving: Andy is not crawling yet, but he sure wants to.  He will get on all fours and try hard to crawl, but then tires and drops to the floor.  He can roll anywhere he needs to go, though, and he is speedy at it! I have a feeling this will be happening soon too...

last night he was standing while leaning on the chair and he thought that was pretty cool-- just as long as he crawls FIRST...sheesh!  I am not ready for him to be walking running away from me!

Andy LOVES watching his big brother and always wants to have eyes on him when they are in the same room.  He is so happy all the time and we just love him to pieces.  He wakes up happy and stays that way until bed time-- when he's happy still!  I've been putting him down away for naps and bed time and I love listening to him chat away in there until he crashes.  Best sound ever.

I am not sure what I did to be blessed with these amazing boys, but I am beyond grateful for them.  I adore being their mom and I feel like the luckiest person in the world to get to love them.

6 month update

This morning was Andy's 6 month well visit!  Andy has really become SUCH a good little baby.  He very rarely cries and when he does cry, he starts laughing in the middle of it.  He smiles constantly and just goes with the flow! 

I find myself unable to kiss him enough every day.  I just want to sit and smooch him all day long, as in sane as that sounds.

Here are Andy's stats from today:

Weight: 18 pounds 11 ounces---> 75th percentile
Height: 27.75 inches---> 90th percentile
Head Circumference: 45 cm---> 75th percentile
(I am looking for Cal's 6 month post and can't find it anywhere... I will update to compare when I can find it!)

Andy is a big boy...I think he is going to be a giant.  He is wearing a shirt today that Cal is wearing in the 17 month picture on the side of the blog:

The shirt is big on him, but it isn't huge at all... I was cursing myself before for not timing these births better for re-using clothing (not really...but kinda), but the way Andy is going, he will be able to wear Cal's clothes in the right seasons!

As you can see from the above picture, Andy loves to suck his fingers.  He isn't much of a paci guy, but I am just now getting him to take one every now and then.  He prefers his fingers!

Andy is a strong little guy.  The other night, Cal and Andy were laying on a blanket on the floor, and Andy reached up and grabbed a handful of Cal's hair and pulled...HARD!  Cal was screaming like crazy and I couldn't pry Andy's hand open- ha!  Here he is grabbing Cal's shirt...as you can see, Cal is thrilled: 

Andy loves his big brother and watches him constantly.  He laughs at just about everything Cal does, which isn't always a good thing!  Cal can be misbehaving, and when he sees that Andy thinks it is funny, he thinks he should continue on "entertaining" his brother!  I am going to be in so much trouble when these two can gang up on me....

i am so in love with these two

HAHA- everything about this picture is funny-- Andy latching on to Cal's nose, etc etc...

Eating:
Andy loves to eat!  He is still nursing, but we are also doing lots of foods and oatmeal.  At the check up today, the doctor told us to start feeding him cereal twice a day, so he will get some at lunch and at dinner.  He likes sweet potatoes, squash, pears, bananas, and peaches.  He has eaten green beans, but only a couple of times.  I don't think they are his favorite, but he doesn't turn them away!  I've been pumping every day to have milk to mix with the oatmeal.  She said today I can mix it with water or even prune juice if he is "in need" of some. 

Sleeping:
Wellll...after the 4 month visit, with the doctor's coaching, we let him cry it out and it worked great-- he was sleeping through the night great.  Then we went to Texas and he was a HORRIBLE sleeper-- up multiple times (for multiple hours each time).  We have been trying to let him cry it out since coming home, but it isn't really working.  He will cry for over an hour, fall asleep, and then 30 minutes later wake up screaming again,  It's hard for me because I know if I just go in there and feed him for 20 minutes, he will go back down and sleep through the night.  Should I let him sit in there and scream like crazy?  Or should I just go in?  My pediatrician says to let him cry.  She thinks if I feed him in the night, he will start to think that it's routine to eat in the night and he will expect it.  Which I do agree with her on that...but now that he's 6 months, his little lungs are LOUD!  I am worried he will wake up Cal.  I think we just need to suck it up one night and let him go.  The problem is, when he's screaming, there is no way I can sleep listening to him (Eddie, on the other hand, never hears him! We always wake up in the morning and laugh about it-- he has no idea! ha), so I lay there awake just listening to him... and knowing that if I just went in there, he would crash in 10 minutes... the doc says I have to get right in my head first-- ha!
Napping is still going really well... he is very consistent with his afternoon nap-- both kids are down by one every day and they both sleep about 3 hours.  His morning nap is much more on the fly.  He will nap in his crib if we are home, but it isn't usually for very long.  If we are in the car or out running errands, he will sleep longer.  I don't mind having him take a morning nap like this as long as he continues to go down when Cal does.  I need that time in the afternoon!!!

Tricks:
Andy can roll back to front and front to back.  He is working on sitting up and is getting better and better at it.  He can't hold it for very long, but we are working on that.  The problem with him sitting is he gets excited and jolts back, causing him to fly backwards.... I am always scared he is going to bonk his head, so I surround him with pillows!


Likes:
Andy really likes books and likes to "read" them with me and Cal.  He likes laying on the floor playing with his little station that has lights and fun things to hit and play with (blanking on word).  He likes anyone talking to him and will light up if you even look his way.  He likes my mom a lot...I think he thinks she is me since we look alike. 


He is not crawling yet, but when he rolls over to his tummy, he will kick his legs and reach with his arms... it seriously looks like he's about to take off.  I am not ready to have a crawler yet!  YIKES! I think we still have a ways for that. 

Teeth- no teeth yet!  He is drooling quite a bit, so I think they will be coming in the next month, maybe?  I don't see any buds forming yet, but we will see....


Andy makes me so happy and I love him more and more every day.  Like I said before, I seriously can not kiss his little cheeks enough!!!



And here is a last picture of my favorite guys... how lucky am I to have them call me momma?

FIVE months old!

WOW! Sweet little Andy is now 5 months old.  Once again, I will say that time is flying by.  I can't get over it!

Andy continues to be THE sweetest kid-- he is constantly happy.  He very rarely cries... if he's wet or tired, he'll let you know, but otherwise, he's just kind of happy as can be!

I seriously can not get enough of him... I know that sounds so stupid, but I just want to kiss and hug and snuggle and kiss some more.  I LOVE THIS KID!  It's crazy to think you can love another kid as much as your first, but you really do!  Your heart just kinda grows, I guess!
 

 Mr. Andy is HUGE.  People do not believe me when I say that he is 5 months old.  He isn't fat at all (he sort of looks chunky in pictures, but he really isn't--well, he does have a few chins....), he's just really long.  His legs are incredibly long-- and they are constantly in motion.  He is kicking his legs non-stop! 

I thought maybe earlier this week he was having a growth spurt because he wasn't sleeping through the night any more (waking up around 5--STARVING), and he was kicking his legs all the time.  I thought maybe be was doing that because of leg cramps.  Growing up, I had horrible leg cramps- they were awful-- when I hit my growth spurts, so I just didn't know. 
He looks HUGE to me, especially lately.  Clothes that Cal wore for a while, Andy has blown through.  (my heart just started hurting as I was typing this... why do they have to grown up so fast?).  Andy wears mainly 9 month clothes now, but he's pushing his way out of those too.  I went ahead and put him in a size 3 diaper, which seems HUGE to me-- can he really be in a size 3 diaper???  Yup, he sure can.  

In order to try to get him back sleeping through the night, I have added some food to his diet.  He was has been eating oatmeal for almost a month now, and he likes it, but I think it was getting a bit bland for him. 

I started with sweet potatoes, which is what I started with with Cal.  Andy wasn't really a huge fan.  I tried giving him a spoonful of just the potatoes, and he automatically spit them out-- well, they kind of seeped out of his mouth.  So I took a spoonful of the oatmeal and dipped it in the potatoes and he didn't better like that, but he still wasn't devouring it like I thought he would. 

I wanted to start him out with veggies because I've heard that if you start them with fruit, you will have a really hard time getting them to eat veggies at all (any of y'all heard this??).  I am tempted to try pears, a favorite of Cal's, to see if that gets him going. 

Right now, Andy just eats food at dinner time.  I am about ready to start giving him some food at lunch time as well.  He will typically eat about 4-6 ounces of breastmilk-mixed oatmeal at a feeding.
 

Andy has been enjoying the jumper more and more and I am hoping to get him in the door jumper that Cal loved so much soon... I have to be careful though because every time I put Andy in it, Cal thinks he should push him like it's a swing.  There is NO unattended play going on over here, I can promise you that!

And finally, here is a picture of Cal when he was 5 months old...

TWO YEARS OLD: wow.

 I've already written this, but I seriously can not believe my little boy is TWO!  He is getting so old!!!  This update is long over due, but I wanted to wait until our two year check up, which was this morning so I could do the complete update with stats, etc...be prepared for a long one!

The past few weeks have been...challenging... Cal has hit the terrible twos (or should I say they have hit him??) and lately, there have been a LOT of battles.  When he is sweet, he is the sweetest kid you will ever meet.  He loves to take my face in his hands (or Eddie's) and pull us in for a big ol' kiss. He loves to kiss Andy and he will walk over to you and ask for a hug-- let me tell you the heart melting that takes place when he does that!!!  He loves to laugh and he is constantly cracking himself up.  He is a tough cookie and will bounce right back up when he falls and "brushes it off" without a problem. 

But, when he is naughty, BOY is he naughty.  (Disclaimer: I am not writing this to complain... just to look back on these days and say, WOW-- glad we have moved past that...because that's what is getting me through this craziness right now: knowing that this stage shall pass....).  Cal is very opinionated and really wants to do things on his own.  If he doesn't, a meltdown will follow.  I should also write what a meltdown is these days: throwing his body on the floor, face down, kicking, screaming and thrashing.  The meltdown does not pass quickly.  In some cases, the meltdowns last for several hours.  Oh yes.  Hours.  He goes to timeout to attempt to calm down and I tell him when he is done, he can come out and play.  He catches his breath, says sorry, then comes out and within the next 30 seconds is screaming again.  It's like he can't "shake" the meltdown.  We never really know what will cause the meltdown... in the past 2 weeks, we have had meltdowns over:
-nap time (duh)
-not being able to get the dustpan off of the broom
-wanting his shoes on (and me not doing it fast enough)
-leaving my parents house
-picking out clothing
-wanting me to build a bridge for him (we play blocks together every afternoon and he loves when I make bridges for him.  In this case, I was trying to get dressed to take him to school and couldn't sit down to play and he LOST it.)

Anyway, those are just a few of the meltdowns we have had lately... bless his heart, he can't help it: He's TWO!  I have gotten VERY good at counting to ten.  Once the meltdowns finally pass, he is back to that sweet sweet boy who loves to kiss, but let me tell you, my friends... those fits are TOUGH! Phew!  Eddie hadn't really witnessed them very much and one evening I was just spent from a 3 hour session and Eddie didn't understand why I was so exhausted/exasperated/frustrated/etc.... THEN, the next morning, Cal put on quite the show for Eddie and he was in shock.  haha-- he now gets it!

He took Cal to the golf course one afternoon to play, and this is what happened when it was time to come home:

Besides the fits, Cal is really SO SO much fun right now (I sound like I am contradicting myself, and I don't mean to...but he really IS fun!).  In the past two weeks, he has started talking in complete sentences and it just blows our minds how much he has to say!  He is also starting to become helpful with Andy.  I can ask him to go get a burpcloth or a diaper and he will run off and do it.  It's pretty amazing!  I have plenty of friends who had a 2 year old little girl (or older) when they had their second and they all think I'm crazy for thinking this is great-- their kid has been helping all along.... well, Cal hasn't... he is now very helpful!

We had an awesome check up this morning.  I wasn't sure how it would go with him...but he was great!  I also wasn't sure how it would go with weighing him in and measuring him, but he was a trooper!  He laid perfectly still when measured and stood up on the baby scale and thought that was so cool- ha!

Here are his stats:

Weight: 28 pounds, 11 ounces ---> 50th percentile
Height: 36 inches ---> 90th percentile
Head circumference (I don't have this number...?) ---> but she told me it was in the 97th percentile...ha!
Body Mass Index: (we've never gotten this one before) 25%

Other updates:

Sleeping:
Cal is a wonderful sleeper at night.  No complaints there. Down around 7, up around 7 or 7:30.  We are battling nap time still.  When we were potty training before, I think he sat in his crib at nap time thinking about going potty and not wetting his bed (even though we put him in a diaper for nap time), so he wouldn't go to sleep.  This is one of the reasons we threw in the towel on potty training.  He goes in his crib every single day for nap time, and he only naps about 4 days a week (unfortunately).  The days he doesn't nap are VERY hard on us for the afternoons.  He is just so worn out that everything set him off.  He goes in his crib every day at 1:00 and I do not let him come out until 3:30 at the earliest.  He can stay awake in there if he wants to, but he's going to have quiet time... it's a great break for both of us.  After about an hour and a half of him not sleeping, I will go in and give him some books to read (during the potty training phase I did this and he peed all over the books.  It was awful).  We also had the "get naked" phase during nap time, but thankfully, I *think* that has passed.  I haven't been putting him in jammies for nap time lately and he has been staying dressed.  If I catch him getting naked, I immediately put him in jammies.  Lately he has been stripping the sheet off of the crib during nap time.  He wakes up from his nap in the BEST mood and wants a huge hug-- I love going in to get him and seeing the big smile on his face. 
He has 3 animals he sleeps with every night: a cow, an elephant, and a zebra.  The zebra is new from my mom and he LOVES him!  It's really cute-- when I put him in the crib for bed and nap, he gets all 3 animals tucked in his arms and kisses each one and says "night night, ____" to each animal.  Talk about sweet! Sometimes when he doesn't nap, I peek in and see him talking to the animals... he lines them up along the crib and talks to them and then says "now go night night!" and then puts them on the pillow and puts a blanket over them, just like I do when tucking him in-- so cute!
Our pediatrician is strongly suggesting we get some blackout curtains for his room to help him take naps.  She is concerned about him getting overly tired since he is so active and sleep is so important for him.  I didn't want to tell her I dropped my nap altogether at 2 years old (sorry, mom....!!!). 

Potty Training:
Oh, potty training....!  It was going SO well for a while.  We were about 90% there... he was peeing every single time on the potty, and the accidents were getting fewer and fewer... then he started the camp this summer.  We LOVED camp, and I will not say anything negative about it!  Cal was the only one in his class training and the first few days he didn't mind getting pulled away to potty, but then he realized he was missing out on the class when he had to leave (these are my words, not his, obviously!), and so he started resisting going potty.  At home, I knew he would have to go (he was showing the signs, and it was time since he just drank a bunch), so I would ask him and he would give me an adamant NO, then he would have an accident immediately.  I started forcing him to go into the bathroom and it was a wrestling match every time.  He was kicking and screaming NO NO NO every time, but then I would put him on the potty and he would pee like crazy, all the while screaming NO POTTY!
Let me tell you how NOT fun that is!  You should not have to go through that to get your kid to pee!  We tried a reward session...Cal loves lollipops, and it got to the point that he would scream NO poppop because he knew that meant he had to stop playing to go potty. 
We decided to back way off.  I think there was a correlation between no nap and potty training too...so we are taking a break from it.  He still pees every time you put him on the potty (before every bath), but we are really not pushing it at all.  We will try again in a little bit, but for now, we are fine with waiting!

Eating:
Cal LOVES to eat and will eat just about anything I serve him, thankfully!  He loves sitting at the table in his high chair and is super happy to chow down!  I love his appetite because Eddie is a bit picky and kind of (really) hard to cook for.  Now that Cal eats so well, I can cook more and I love it. Our pediatrician was very pleased with everything he is eating and suggested we keep it up. Done and done.

School:
Cal is in school 2 days a week: Tuesday and Thursday.  He has yet to have a meltdown in school and they always say how sweet he is (phew!).  His teacher's name is Terencia, and Cal is just about able to say her name-- he is SO sweet trying!  I make him say goodbye and thank you to each of the staff members as we leave, so he is working hard on all of their names.  He now will go over and hug them as he says thank you-- sweet little guy.  As we were leaving last week, the director said, "that Cal sure does have a lot of personality!"  He suuuure does! 
Cal really enjoys school and we are so grateful he's happy going there.  They sing songs often because he comes home singing.  This morning I found him in my closet, sitting on the floor by himself, singing The Ittsy Bittsy Spider and doing all of the hand motions.  It was pretty darn awesome.  Oh, and he had on some of my shoes too-- made it even cuter. 

Talking:
We are blown away with how many words Cal knows now.  It seems like in the past 2 weeks he has just developed so much to say!  He is repeating everything we say now...so we have to be careful (and by we, I mean me.  I have got to be careful....damn it.).  The other day Andy had a poopy diaper and Cal walked in and said "HOLY COW!"  HAHAHAHAHAH!  I about died laughing.... no clue when that was said, but I thought it was hilarious.  He also is learning more and more animals names and sounds.  At the pumpkin patch, he started "bahhhhh-ing" at the goats...didn't know he knew that one!  He picks up on everything around him... it's pretty amazing to watch him learn.

Other stuff....
We are working on limiting the paci.  He only used it in the crib and car, and we dropped the car use completely, but a road trip brought it back.  I was firm about dropping in the car last week.  I am still letting him use it in the crib, especially at nap time... we need all the help we can get to get him to sleep!

He is still in love with golf.  No shocker there.... he is going out on the course with Eddie this afternoon.  I am excited for him to get to run around!

We are flying with both kids to TX later this month. Praying there are no meltdowns up in the air...!!!

There is the update-- I am impressed if you actually read it all!  Cal is at a really fun age and we are having SUCH a fun time with him.  He is challenging, but so so sweet too.  I fall more and more in love with him every day and I can not imagine my life without him in it.  He makes me a better person and I just feel like if I kissed him a million billion times a day, that it isn't enough... I want to kiss him a million billion plus one.... I just love him that much!

Sorry for the length of this... phew! 

4 months old!

 Can he really be FOUR months old?  Wasn't I just pregnant with this little nugget?

There have been some major changes in our littlest guy the past few weeks...

First of all, Andy began wanting to hang out with me several times a night.  Like, on average, four times.  Yes, I realize this is ridiculous.  He was going to bed at 7 (exhausted) and then waking at 11, 2, 4, and 5:30.  It was ROUGH.  I wasn't sure if he was just hungry, or if maybe I wasn't producing enough milk throughout the day and he was trying to make up for it at night...? We had his 4 month check up (more to come on that one later) on Monday, and his doctor said to me, and I quote for effect: "Carrie.  This child is WORKING you."  He really was working me.  He just wanted to nurse whenever he felt like it.  She convinced me it was time to cry it out.  

When I told her my concern for him being full, she said I could start giving him rice cereal or oatmeal.  

So, Monday night Andy had his first bit of oatmeal, mixed with breast milk:

you mean I'm supposed to eat that??

but do I still get boob??

okay, then it's not so bad!

At first he was very unsure of the oatmeal, but once he got the hang of how to eat it, he liked it!  My doctor suggested I nurse him for the last time of the night and then feed him the oatmeal so that he would still nurse fully, but that just didn't work for our schedule with Cal eating (sorry, Andy!).  Instead, I feed both boys their dinner and then we all go up to bathe, and then Andy nurses and then everyone to BED. Phew!

Monday night, when it was time to go down, I kissed Andy and told him I would see him in the morning! It was time to let him cry it out!  At 1:00 he woke up and cried for 42 minutes (yes, I sat and stared at the clock and monitor watching him), but he worked himself back to sleep and didn't get up until 7.  I woke up at 6:30 about to explode, so I went down and pumped waiting for him to wake.

Night one: success!  He cried, but he did work himself back down.  I was dreading this, thinking he would wake up 4 times and have to cry himself back down each time...

Tuesday night, we did the same thing with the oatmeal, nursing, then bed.  I went to bed at 11, looked at the monitor and saw this:

He wasn't crying, but he was just staring at me, and my chest was already pretty full (I am thinking he didn't eat much before bed because he was really tired).  I decided to nurse him one more time to get him through the night.  He went down right after nursing and woke up at 2.  He had flipped onto his back and was trying to flip back over, but couldn't get it.  I let him cry for a few minutes, but once I realized he wouldn't go to sleep on his back, I went into his room, didn't say a word, and flipped him to his tummy.  He cried for all of 5 minutes and was out!  He woke up at 6 and I nursed him and he fell back asleep until I woke him at 9! I wanted to take a class at the gym, so I had to wake him... not sure how long he would have slept!

Last night, we did the same routine, and Andy went down at 7...and we did not hear a PEEP from him until I WOKE HIM at 8!  UNBELIEVABLE! I had to wake him to get Cal to school.

Who is this kid???

We went to the gym again Thursday morning, and I was worried Andy would melt down since he didn't eat much when he woke up, and when I walked into the nursery after class, Andy was sound asleep!  The lady said she had never seen such a chill kid in her life!  ANDY???  The same kid who screamed every 10 seconds for the first 8 weeks of life?!?!?!?! 

Thursday night, it was the same thing-- went down early, woke up at 1 on his back, I flipped him over and he slept until 7:30! 

So anyway, we are doing well with Mr. Andy this week!  YAHOOOO!  I just have to train my boobs now-- I have been up every morning at 6 soaked (TMI? Sorry about it!).  

Happy Boy!

 And here is our info about the 4 month check up:

Weight: 16 pounds, 7 ounces -- 90th percentile
Height: 25 3/4 inches -- 90th percentile
Head circumference: 43 cm -- 75th percentile

at the pediatrician's office

he was loving looking in the mirror

 BIG BOY!

Andy: you are just about as sweet as they come!  You smile all the time and your laugh makes everyone around you smile too.  You are a snuggle bug and I can't believe how strong you are getting!  You like to stand up while holding mom or dad's hands.  It is hard for you to nurse on both sides because you really want to watch whatever your big brother is doing across the room.  I sometimes can't believe how much I love you.  I didn't think it would be possible to love another kid as much as the first, but it really really is.  You make my heart feel so full and I am the luckiest person in the world to have you as a son.  I love watching you grow...just don't do it too fast... I am trying to enjoy every minute!