We got results--
HIS SKULL IS NORMAL!
(exhale sigh of relief)
I had to put that out there first and foremost. THANK YOU, LORD!
So, we got up around 6 and showered and got ready. Cal got up somewhere in there and my mom came over around 6:45 to hang out with Cal and take him to school.
We were going to leave right around 7:00, so I woke Andy up right as we were about to leave, got him dressed and carried him right to the car (with a pitstop to hug his grandma).
Eddie dropped us off at the entrance to the children's hospital and went to park the car.
We went to the children's radiology desk, as we were told, but they didn't open until 8 so we followed the instructions on the desk and went to the main radiology check in. I was carrying Andy, who was carrying his blankie and lovie, and my purse, and a bag filled with stuff to keep him occupied, if need be. We finally got the check in and sat down to wait. Andy spotted the iPad in my bag and started playing a game....
Almost immediately, we were taken to a separate area to wait for our turn to be scanned. Andy climbed right up in a chair there and continued playing while we waited.
The technician came out to talk to us and make sure we understood that they would try to do the scan without sedation, but if it didn't work, they would have to do it.
She said, "well, then, if you're ready, let's head on back." Eddie and I looked at each other super surprised... we were not anticipating ALL of us going back there. She explained that crying/screaming is normal and she is totally used to it, but if he starts flailing his head back and forth, they would then sedate. Andy was clinging to me like his life depended on it. Then she looked at me and said, "whenever you're ready, mom, go ahead and lay him down."
I wasn't ready. But I knew I just had to rip off the band-aid.
So, I laid my little man on the table while he screamed as loud as he could. His mouth was wide open in full on scream and his eyes never left mine. He started crying "mommmmmaaaaaaaa" and I felt the knot in my throat growing.
The technician started to restrain him- first his arms, which means no fingers to suck- then his mid-section. Andy was having none of it. She asked us to just talk to him while she worked around us. Then she realized that Andy was a tough little munchkin so she waved in the gigantic guy from behind the glass who came in and physically held Andy in place while she wrapped the restraints around his little body. His sweet little feet in his grey New Balance shoes were sticking out of the end and that's where the knot in my throat grew even more.
She quickly told us to put on the lead jackets and she ran out of the room. She told me to put a hand on Andy and to talk to him or sing to him or whatever else I could do. Eddie stood behind me saying over and over again, "it's okay, it's okay...." Not sure if he was talking to me or Andy....
Andy kept screaming and I started singing his favorite song (wayyyy up in the sky, the little birds fly, while down in the nest, the little birds rest....Molly, remember that song from camp??).
Andy's little body slowly entered the machine, all the while he kept eye contact with me. The tears were pouring down my face at this point and I was choking on the words, but every time I would pause to
sob breathe, he would start crying again.
At one point, he started shaking his head and then he managed to get his arm free. The technician came running back into the room and I just KNEW she was going to say they needed to sedate him. I wiped off my face and looked over at her and she said, "we got it! He's all done!" I think I was sniffing or I couldn't hear over the Andy's screams, so I said, ever so classy: "HUH?" And she smiled and told me again that we were indeed done.
I could not get Andy off of the table fast enough.
I yanked him up and he immediately curled up on my shoulder holding his blankie and lovie. We walked out of the room as the technician told us that we were the first scan of the day and they doctors should receive it and read it within the hour. We thanked them and headed out. Andy switched to love on Eddie some and we got to the lobby.
Eddie left to get the car and I set Andy down in the pediatric waiting room. He started galloping around, smiling at strangers, diving on his blankie, dancing like a wild man....pretty much acting like his normal crazy man self!
That little episode had a MUCH bigger impact on me and Eddie than it did Andy! (ps- I was still tearing up at this point. The image of my sweet, sweet baby all strapped down is ingrained in my brain).
We got in the car and Andy "talked" all the way home. We gave him his coveted fruit snacks immediately and he happily ate and chattered the whole way home.
Eddie left to go to work and I decided that we would go to the gym and then I would do something to spoil this kid rotten. He deserved it.
So we went to Target.
And he got to sit IN the cart part (something I never do any more because he is a freaking dare devil).
And he got to bring blankie, lovie, AND baby (the elephant he has developed a love for).
AND, he got to pick out a car.... a big one. Not just a little matchbox car, but a REAL big, automatic, noise making, wheelie-popping car.
And we got to open it IN the store.
And we didn't shop for anything else while we were there. Not one other item (Andy hates shopping...loathes it, really). Just the car and we were OUT.
Then we came home for some fun play time-- just one on one. This little guy walked over to the speaker in our kitchen and pointed, which is his way of asking for Gangham Style. No. I am not proud of this, but Nugget Williamson LOVES dancing to Ganham Style. It is quite a sight to see, and it always cracks me up. And today was all about doing what made him happy....soooooo, dancing we did!
He put on some hats and had a big time playing until it was time to pick up CalBoy from school.
As I was picking Cal up from the playground, he was talking to Ava through the fence and it was the most precious thing ever (Ava pursed her lips for a little smooch!), so I grabbed my phone to take a picture (because obviously I take pictures of everything) and this text message popped up from my pediatrician (have I mentioned I
LOVE HER?)--
Dr. Merritt:
"Skull NORMAL. Your boys "ridge" is his beauty mark.
hugs dr k"
I mean.
I started tearing up, so to avoid a scene, I grabbed Cal's hand and his backpack and ran to my car as fast as I could. I called Eddie, who didn't answer, so I continued calling until he did, then went down the list calling the family. Every time I said the words "his head is okay!" I started crying again.
I am just so so
so relieved.
I never want to have to see him going into one of those machines again.
I never want to have to watch another person physically restrain my son again.
I never want to see his little lovie poking his head up next to my son's bright red, soaking wet face again.
I never want to do this again.
That being said... I am so glad we did this so we would know. Because if we didn't do this, we would feel his little head every day and wonder. And now we know.... he's okay! PHEW!
The emails, texts, calls, fb messages and comments on this blog have BLOWN me away. You really have NO idea how amazing all of you were. From reassuring emails that the doctor would have ordered a CT right away if it was serious (which she didn't), to the messages saying we were in your prayers today (which we so appreciate), to the texts just making sure we were hanging in there....seriously, words can not express my gratitude. I try to put words to those feelings, but obviously, I fail.
love love love love love to you all....and thank you. and love you. and thank you again....
